The WTF Zone
by Master Zero Raid
Summary: Well this is a bunch of random short stories im going to be right. R&R but be kind. rated M for language.
1. Case 1: PenPen

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion.

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"The city of Tokyo-3 is a normal city, people living and work. Children play and going to scho…" before the narrator could finish his sentence a giant purple foot crushes him. A man with long silver white hair wearing a black cloak walks up and looks at what remains of the narrator. "Well that has to suck." The man pulls out his cell phone. "Hey, I need a clean up crew. The moron narrator just crushed by EVA-01."He goes silent for a moment what ever the man on the other end of the phone said made the man smile evilly. "Understood. Do I have to fallow protocol? I don't, this is so sweet. Laterz." The man pulls out a can a gas and pure it on the remain. He then pulls out a pack of cigarettes, lights one and throws the match on the mans body which burst into flame. "Well now that that's is done, Hi my name is Zero Raid, I shall be your host. This is The WTF Zone, a bunch of random stories from the mind of a man that has lost his mind at work. In my personal opinion he needs to get life or a girlfriend, either one will work. Anyways on with the story." The scene fades into black…"CRAP! MY CLOAK IS ON FIRE!"

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The WTF Zone 

By Zero The Dark Knight

Case 1: Pen-Pen

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It was a normal day at the Katsuragi/Sohryu/Ikari Residence. Shinji was cooking lunch, Asuka was bitching at Shinji, and Misato was pretty much drunk. Unknowen to them evil lucked in the shadows. "_Mien Gott _Third Child what is taking you so long with my food." Asuka yelled. "Calm down Asuka, its almost done." Shinji Replied calmly. He turned to finish the food when Pen-Pen out of no where jumped on Shinji's head. Asuka bust out in laughter and walks away. After Shinji was able to get the flightless bird off his head he give it some food and finished up the meal for himself and his roommate, but what shinji didnt realize it could be the last meal of his life. 

After thier lunch the three sat down to watch some tv, when all of a sudden four men broke down the front door guns pointing at the two children and their gaurdian. "Stay still and we wont kill you." one of the men yell. well needless to say the three were scared shitless. Right as one of the men were walking towards Shinji he droped dead, blood pouring from the knife stuck in the back of his head. The other three men were in to much shock to react when a blur of black and white whized by them killing them instantly. The blur stop to reveal Pen-Pen holding a small dagger. The three ocuppents of the appartment fainted at this sight. "wark" was Pen-Pen respones as he walked awa think only one thought about his care takers 'wimps'.

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Wow! ummmm ok. i think im just going to walk this way now and act like i didnt just see that. ummmm R&R laterz 


	2. Case 2: Rei Ayanami

Disclaimer: I do not own Evangelion.

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Hey there, its me Zero back for another installment of THE WTF ZONE weird music plays. This time lets take a look at Rei Ayanami, A very quite girl who keeps to herself. What will happen when she enters THE WTF ZONE mooooooo . crap the sound guy is drunk again.

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The WTF Zone

By Zero The Dark Knight

Case 2: Rei Ayanami

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It was a normal day of school for most except for Rei. As of late she has been having these thoughts. Thoughts that were unlike her and would scare even Gendo shitless. ' I swear to god, if the bitch does not shut up i swear to god ill kill her myself!' were Rei's thoughts as she glanced over at Asuka as she went on about how she was the best looking girl in the school. Now it wasn't that uncommon for the second child to rant like she was and most of the time Rei just zoned her out but today was different. Rei was just sick of Asuka and had to put an end to problem. 

Lunch time come and Rei found herself eating alone under a tree in the school courtyard. She quitely watched her fellow student eating their lunch and talking to one another. She was just finishing her food when she see's Shinji being chased by Asuka. Rei had become fond of Shinji after the 5th angel attack. She watched as Asuka traped Shinji in a corner and start yelling at him about not making her lunch right. Rei started to walk towards them right as Asuka was about to slap him. Rei grabs Asuka arm in mid swing. " What do you want First Child." Asuka snorts as she release Shinji. "I want you to leave Ikari alone." states in her normal monotone vocie. "Are you threating me wondergirl?" Asuka was laughing so hard she did see Rei's fist flying straight towards her.

Shinji watched as Rei beat the hell out of Asuka. When Rei was finished beating Asuka with what looked like a bat, she lifted the now bloody Second Child so they were eye to eye. "Listen here you redhaired bitch, if you call me wondergirl agian ill brake every one of your fingers and If i see or even hear about you hurting Ikari again, ill make sure you can never pilot an Eva ever agian." after the she droped Asuka and walked up to Shinji. "Come Ikari, we should get back to the classroom." she turns and starts walking. A Shinji could do is fallow her in silence as the returned to class.

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This is just a reminder that you need to watch out for the quite ones. please read and review. Laterz 


	3. Case 3: Gendo Ikari

Disclamer: I do not own evangelion

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Zero: Welcome one and all to the WTF Zone. We have a special guest tonight, give it up for ………. Yui Ikari!

Yui: Thank you for having me on the show, but how did you get me out of Eva Unit 01.

Zero: Ummm…….. my uber wicked skills? Hehe

Yui: Zero, what did you do?

Zero: I replaced your soul with someone elses.

Yui: May I ask who?

Zero: You don't want to know.

Yui: Oh but I do. So be a good boy and tell me.

Zero: Kensuke.

Yui: WHAT!?!?

Zero: What I needed a test subject, besides what could go wrong?

Alarm starts going off

Random tech: Oh My God! Eva unit 01 has gone rouge. Its demanding that Kensuke gets paired up with Asuka forever!

Yui: ZERO!!!!

Zero: On with the story!

fades to black

Zero: DAMN IT MY CLOAKS ON FIRE AGAIN!!!!

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The WTF Zone

By Master Zero Raid

Case 3: Gendo Ikari

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It was a normal day in Tokyo 3. Birds were flying trough the air, kids were going to school, everyone was happy. Except Gendo Ikari, he was having a very bad day, but what he didn't know was it was about to get much worse. "Sir, the third child and man from the city are here to see you." A young ladies voice come over the intercom we will call here Rain. To which gendo replied " What do they want?" "I am not sure Sir, they say its very important." Said Rain. "Fine, send them in." Gendo sighed 

Out side the office Rain looks to the two waiting people. "The Bastard King says you can go in." she says dryly. Shinji nods and go's through the door with the man fallowing him close behind. Upon entering the office they walk straight up to Gendo's desk. He looks at the two people in front of him. "What do you want?" ask Gendo. The older man steps forward " Mr. Ikari, my name is Frost Mourn, I have an understanding that you have be neglecting your son Shinji. I also have here that you abandoned Shinji when he was only eight years old, is this correct?" Asked Frost as he looked up from his notepad. "He was weak I had no use for him. Come to think of it he is still weak." Gendo stated calmly. Frost looks over to Shinji who just mouths 'I told you so' "Well Mr. Ikari since you have admitted to doing these acts I have no choose to place you under arrest." Frost said as he pulls out a pair of hand cuffs. "Im the commander of Nerv, you can not arrest me." The bastard replied smugly. Shinji took this time to step forwards and speak "Ah but Father three years ago you were claimed to have died to evade paying taxes, and since there was no will all your belongings are given to me as I am your only living family." Gendo's smugness drained away along with the color in his face. "Since NERV itself was founded by you it is part of your belongs. Which means Shinji is the true owner and commander of NERV." Stated a very happy Frost Mourn. Needless to say Gendo was boned. Not only was he going to prison, he also lost everything he owned to his son. "Now Mr. Ikari if you will come with me." Frost said as he placed The Bastard king in handcuffs and lead him out of the room. Before they were completely out the door Shinji called for them stop for a moment "Father I just wanted to let you know that I am getting married next week." Gendo looked to his son and asked "………To who?" Shinji just smiled and replied" Rei, Asuka, Misato, Ritsuko, Hikari, And Maya." Before gendo could respond Rain walked in and asked "Shinji do you have enough love for one more." The wicked grin that spread acrossed Shinji's and the words he spoke would haunt Gendo for the rest of his life "Sure the more the marrier."

It was at that moment that Gendo Realized that his son was not only the commander of NERV but was truly the luckiest man in the world.

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Zero: Wow, I think may have gone a little to far with that.

Yui: You had my son marry six girls.

Zero: Seven Girls.

Yui: Do you know what you have done.

Zero: Made Shinji the happiest man on the planet.

Yui: Yes and you know what this means?

Zero: No but im sure its going to be bad for my health.

Yui: IM GOING TO BE A GRANDMOTHER!!!!!!!!

Zero: Is that a good thing or a bad thing?

Yui: A very good thing.

Zero: and on that note im out of here. Please read and review.

Yui: Come on Zero, im sure Shinji will name one of his children after you.

Zero: Really?

Yui: Yeah.

Zero: Sweet!!!!


End file.
